Chapter one
DehydrationAs I opened my eyes the next morning, a weird sensation passed through me. I wasn't sure I'd ever felt like this. Like... Something was wrong with me, deep inside. Like there was too much inside me. It certainly didn't feel good. My whole stomach was whirling with a sensation I couldn't place my finger on. I had heard the expression somewhere, while I still was in Mel's body. It was... It was... Nausea.
I had barely had time to think about the word, when I could already feel the insides of my stomach giving up. A bitter taste filled my mouth, and before I even realised I had gotten up on all my fours and thrown up. It felt awful. My throat burned and stomach ached. I gagged, trying to get rid of the nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wanderer?" Ian asked sleepily. Then his voice became sharper. "Wanda!"
He was up and next to me within seconds.
"Ian, I - I'm sorry", I said, mortified. I'd just thrown up on our floor. "I just - "
"Doesn't matter. What's wrong?" he asked in a concerned tone.
"I - I feel sick. I think I might be ill. I'm sorry", I added.
"Don't be silly, honey. Could've happened to anyone. I'll take you to Doc."
"Don't!" I shouted, as he extended his hands to pick me up.
"Wanderer - "
"You could get sick, too."
Ian rolled his eyes. "As if I'd be worried about
that."Without listening to my protests he scooped me in his arms and carried me towards the hospital. Doc would probably be already up and getting ready for breakfast. I felt bad about bothering him. I was sure my nausea would pass within minutes, if I only rested for a while. I knew that Ian wouldn't hear me out, however, so I concentrated on breathing evenly and not throwing up again.
He lowered me down so I could get the door. Nausea whirled over me again, as we stepped into the hospital. The smell of it, the cleanliness, the meds, the bright lights - it was all too much for me.
"Ian", I started. "I need to - "
He set me on my feet just in time. I made a rush towards the litter bin and emptied my stomach again. Tears sprang into my eyes.
"It's OK", Ian whispered. He knelt down behind me and pulled my hair back, away from my mouth. His other hand stroked my neck in a calming way. "It will be OK. Just take deep breaths. It'll pass."
"Looks like someone's ill", Doc noted, as he stepped into the room. Apparently he had already had breakfast. That made me feel a little bit better. At least I wasn't holding him up from eating the perishables.
"Wanderer's not feeling very well", Ian said. An understatement. I had never felt worse in my life.
"Well, let's see it, then. Can you sit on this table?"
I nodded weakly. At the moment it felt like even a single movement could kill me. Luckily I didn't have to think about moving, for Ian put his arms around me and swung me easily on the table. Sometimes it felt like I was not a human, flesh and blood, but merely a doll, easy for him to carry.
"When's the last time you've eaten?" Doc asked professionally.
"Last night, before Ian came."
"What did you eat?"
"Tomato soup?" It was more of a statement than a real question. None of us had eaten anything but tomato soup for two weeks.
"You think she's eaten something wrong?" Ian asked and pulled me protectively against his broad chest.
"Either that, or she hasn't drunk enough water. Look at her lips, they‘re all dry. When did you last drink, Wanda?"
"I - I can't remember."
"This has happened before", Doc explained in a calm voice. "Loads of times. People forget to drink, then become dehydrated. You mightn't have noticed, but we aren't exactly living in a rainforest here."
"So there's nothing wrong with her?"
"Apart from the dehydration, no. We'll just get her some water and continue from there."
"I'll get her water", Ian said automatically.
"No", I said. "Go and get yourself something to eat. You're starving."
"No, I'm not."
"When's the last time
you've eaten?"
"Wanda", sighed Ian. "I'm fine. That is, if you'll let me fetch you some water."
His stomach growled.
"Right", I scoffed. "You're not hungry at all."
"Not at all", he confirmed.
"Doc, please tell him he's hungry."
"Ian, I think you should get yourself something to eat", Doc commanded, clearly amused.
Ian opened his mouth to protest.
"And, while your at it, bring Wanda something too. She'll probably be hungry when her stomach settles."
Ian thought about it for a moment. Finally he said he would go, but promised he would be back "in a second". I did not doubt him.
"What would you like to have?"
"Umm... I don't know. Anything's fine, I suppose", I said. To be honest, I was quite sure I was not able to stomach anything. But he wouldn't like that. And he had to think I was feeling better already, or he would never leave my side. Not even to eat.
He touched his lips to my forehead and left reluctantly. I waited until I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore. Then I bent over the litter bin and threw up once more.
"To be frank, I really don't think my stomach's going to settle down anytime soon", I said weakly.
"Neither do I", confessed Doc. "But we had to make Ian leave somehow, right?"
"Right." I smiled carefully.
"Good girl." He gave me a pat on the head. "Now, let me fetch you some water, all right?"
He disappeared before I had time to answer. I folded my legs underneath my trembling body and sat down slowly, ready to spring towards to litter bin if needed. However, my stomach seemed to be calming down already - or maybe I just didn't have anything left to throw up. I suspected the latter. I'd never been sick before, but I'd seen plenty of people who had. Sometimes they could keep on puking for days. I sure hoped that was not the case. This body - Pet's body - was so fragile, it could hardly take a fast that lasted for days. My head was already spinning.
Doc returned soon with a bowl of water.
"Drink this", he ordered.
I raised the bowl carefully to my lips and sipped a little. Water tasted the same as always - not quite like water outside the caves, but still good enough. It drowned the bitter taste in my mouth.
"Might be the best, if you drink slowly. If you take too much, you might end up throwing it up again."
I did as he told and took small sips every few minutes. I had barely drunk half of the bowl, when Ian returned, eating as he walked. He carried a bag of Cheetos.
“Not really the healthiest nutrient, I know”, he said sheepishly as he set the bag in my hands. “But I thought those might be a bit more appealing than cereals. Besides, I had to grab the last bag, or they would’ve run out of them. Someone here has really developed an addiction to Cheetos. Someone besides you, I mean.”
He smiled to me softly. I returned the smile easily. It wasn’t hard for me to figure out, who the Cheeto-snatcher was. Melanie liked them almost as much as I did. That’s why I’d started to like them in the first place.
“Is the water working?”
“I think it is”, I said and swallowed another mouthful carefully. It seemed to settle in my stomach. “I think the worst part’s over.”
“Thank God. You had me worried for a second.”
“It was just nausea.”
“Still”, he said and kissed me on the cheek. “I want you to feel good.”
“I’m feeling better, I promise.”
“So good you’d like to play some football?” Ian asked hopefully.
“No!” I exclaimed, unable to hide the horror in my expression. In Mel’s body playing football had been tolerable - even more, I’d enjoyed it - but that had been because her body had enjoyed it. It was something that came from her naturally. As for the new me... I was not exactly built for running. I got tired easily, and if I got hit by a ball, I was sure to have some nasty bruises that could last for weeks.
Ian smiled. “Don’t worry, honey, it was a joke. No football for you today.”
Another thing I liked about Ian: The way he called me
honey. It was lovely, the fact he was able to say it so casually, as if it was the most natural thing in the world that I belonged to him.
***
An hour and a big bowl of water later my stomach felt so good I was actually able to eat my bag of Cheetos. We waited another hour to see if the food was really going to stay inside me. I suppose it was. At least I felt a lot better than in the morning, so Doc gave me the permission to leave. He reminded me to drink a glass of water once in an hour, and to come back if my nausea returned. Ian promised to make sure I would.
“I have no doubt about that”, I heard Doc mutter, as the hospital door closed behind us.
Ian grinned as he bent down to cradle me in his arms.
“Ian”, I protested. “I can walk. I feel fine!”
“That’s no reason for you to exhaust yourself. You haven’t eaten very much.”
“And I’m not going to.”
“We’ll see about that”, he said stubbornly and carried me to the kitchen. It was crowded, as ever. Apparently it was already lunchtime. Lucina stood in front of the counter, filling plates with steaming, tempting spaghetti. She looked quite unhappy - probably due to the fact that Lacey was complaining again. Apparently she hated spaghetti, or something along those lines. I didn’t really bother to listen.
Heads turned into our direction as Ian set me down on the bench. People were too accustomed to us being together to be really surprised when they saw Ian carrying me around, for that happened quite often. In the beginning, though, it had been different. I had received an endless amount of comments about how lucky I was.
"He really loves you, you know”, they said. Or:
“’I’ve never seen him look at anyone like he looks at you." I’d gotten used to those comments, and eventually the staring had stopped. Now they stared at us again, though for a different reason.
“Where have you been, Wanda?” Jamie asked, his mouth full of bread.
“Don’t talk while you're eating!” Melanie’s command came out like a whip.
“Sorry”, he grinned sheepishly and continued to look at me expectantly. “Where’ve you been?”
“I - at the hospital. I was - “
“Dehydrated, apparently”, said Ian.
Sighs and murmurs passed through the crowd.
“Oh, Wanda”, Lily said, shaking her head. “You really need to take care of yourself.”
“I do take care of myself!”
“No, you don’t”, Ian said firmly. His tone was dissatisfied.
“Yes, I do!”
“There’s no point in fighting, Wanda”, Mel warned. “We’re all against you.”
“Thanks a lot”, I muttered.
Jared chuckled.
“I’d be a bit more careful, if I were you, Wanda. O’Shea might lock you in his room, if you don’t watch out.”
“I’m not a Doberman, Howe”, Ian said, irritated.
“Never said you were”, said Jared. His expression was way too innocent.
Ian shook his head. “I’m officially going to throw you into the river one of these days.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
“Play nice, boys”, Jeb commanded gruffly. “Don’t want any bodies in my spaghetti.”
I smiled. This was it. This was home. Not just the room, or the people - it was the atmosphere, the playful banter, the laughs and smiles. Ian’s arm around my waist as he ate.
“What’s in the schedule today?” Jared asked.
“Was gonna seed the north field with Brandt and Heidi. Could use a hand in there.”
“I can come”, I volunteered, still feeling a bit guilty about not being able to prepare breakfast or lunch, like I was supposed to. That was my task nowadays: providing meals. Apparently that wasn’t too hard for me.
“No, you can’t”, Ian denied at once. “You’re going to rest today.”
“I don’t need any more rest!”
“Ian’s right, Wanda”, Heidi said. “There’s no need for you to get dehydrated again. Besides, we’ve got enough arms as it is. We don’t need you there.”
“At least let me do something”, I begged. “I hate sitting out when you’re all busy.”
“You should enjoy it. It’s not going to happen all the time”, Mel grinned.
“Funny”, I muttered. “It feels like it
is happening all the time.”
I glared at Ian, who avoided my gaze innocently. Were it up to him, I’d probably never see a tool. Not that complaining made any difference. Ian would always be Ian - too set to take care of me to even consider another options. And tomorrow I would be officially fine. Then no one could stop me from participating their work.
***
I was wrong. I was
not fine the next morning. I was nauseous again. It was a perfect repetition of yesterday, with the one exception that this time Ian managed to carry me to the hospital before I threw up. Doc brought me water again, and I drank in silence. This time, though, it was hard to believe I was dehydrated - after all, the others had ensured that I drank at least one glass of water per hour. When I’d finally gone to bed, my little stomach had been heavy with water.
“Maybe it’s the flu, then”, Doc decided after checking up on me.
“The flu? But how could she have gotten it? She hasn’t been outside for weeks.”
“No, but you have”, Doc said pointedly. “Maybe you carried it... Or she might be allergic to something. Did you eat something special yesterday, Wanda?”
“Umm... Cheetos?” I suggested. If he said I was allergic to Cheetos I would throw myself in the river, without any outside help at all.
He laughed. “I hardly doubt it’s Cheetos. But there are some other options...”
“What options?”
Doc was just about to answer, when Ian said:
“I’d like to talk to you alone, if you don’t mind.”
At first I thought he meant me, but then Doc nodded and led him out of the door. I felt offended. Wasn’t I even allowed to talk about my health anymore?
Luckily, the door was thin, so I was able to hear most of their conversation.
“...other options you’re talking about?” Ian asked, sounding worried.
I was worried, too. The words
other options reminded me a bit too much about Walter, who had died in cancer. I could still remember the way he had been in the end - so tired, writhing in pain... It was such a painful death. What if it was happening to me, too? How could I handle it?
To my surprise Doc laughed.
“It’s nothing to be worried about, at least not at this point. We’ll keep a close eye on her, though.”
I sighed. I honestly had no idea how they could manage to keep any closer eye on me - and if they tried, I was not sure I could handle it. They treated me like a porcelain-doll already. At least, Ian did. If the others started too...
They murmured something behind the door, so quietly I couldn’t make out the words. After a minute or two they returned to the room. I noticed that Ian looked almost... relieved. Whatever Doc had said to him, it had worked.
He sat beside me and kissed my temple.
“You’ll be alright. Feeling any better?”
“Actually, yes”, I said, surprised. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but it certainly didn’t last long.
“Doc had a suggestion. No more tomato for you.”
“But I didn’t eat tomato last night”, I said, puzzled.
“Yes, you did. There was tomato sauce in that spaghetti”, Doc reminded.
“I didn’t even know you could be allergic to tomato”, I muttered. These humans never ceased to surprise me.
“You can. I have never heard of anyone throwing up because of it, but people react differently to their allergies. You might be the nauseous type.”
“Oh, the joy...” I was being sarcastic. I was already quite good at it.
“Think positive. At least you can live without tomato. I couldn’t live without you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“That’s good”, he sighed and buried his face in my neck, ignoring Doc, who had started to look like he wanted to be somewhere else.
***
It happened again the next morning. And the next. And the next. I spent altogether five days throwing up the first thing in the morning. I’d started to get used to it. I didn’t like it, but at least I knew it was going to happen - and that it was going to pass. That meant I didn’t have to go to the hospital anymore, but could spend the morning in my own mattress, the litter bin clutched tightly to my side. When the nausea passed, Ian carried me to the kitchen for a very late breakfast (so late, in fact, that it was more of a lunch). The others had gotten accustomed to my early absence, and after a few days stopped asking me about it. I was not sure, whether they really believed I had been sick. Ian’s brother Kyle had made some peculiar comments about how I was just “too sore” to get up from bed. I had no idea what he meant, but Ian hit him in the head and Lily blushed deeply next to me, which made me decide I didn’t want to know more. I had already learned, that Kyle sometimes implied things it was not polite to imply.
On the fifth day of my lengthened illness Melanie opened her mouth. I had barely had time to sit on the counter, when she was already on her feet and pulled me up.
“I think it’s time you and I have a little conversation. Just us girls.”
“I... Okay”, I decided. When Mel wanted something, it was the easiest thing to give it to her. Otherwise it would just take more time - she would get what she came for anyway.
“Don’t you think you should eat first?” Ian asked quickly.
“This won’t take long”, Mel said firmly. “Jared can entertain you while we’re gone, right, Jared?”
Jared shrugged, his mouth full of stew (one that had no tomatoes in it). It wasn’t really a surprise that he and Ian had started to get along better after I had “moved” to a body of my own. There was no tension there anymore. There was no reason for it.
Melanie pulled me to the corridor that led to her and Jared’s room.
“I think you should sit down”, she advised and closed the door.
I obliged, a little reluctantly. The only place to sit - beside their messy mattresses - was the cold, hard floor, and my muscles were still quite sore after this morning’s throw-up-session. I sat near the door and tried to find a position that wouldn’t hurt my back.
“OK.” Melanie took a deep breath. “It’s been five days and you’re still the queen of discarding food. So... are you late?”
“Late from what?” I asked, confused. In these caves it was very difficult to be late from anything, because there were no clocks, no time and so, also no hurry. Chores were done when told, dinner was eaten when it was ready, and people went to bed when they felt tired. It was simple. The only time days or hours were counted was when someone went for a raid. Other than that, we just... flowed peacefully forward. So how on Earth could I be late from something?
“Sorry. I meant you period. Are they late?”
I felt warm flush on my cheeks. This was not a topic I was comfortable to discuss with anybody.
“I... don’t know.”
Mel sighed. “You’re on the pill. When did you take the last one?”
I struggled to remember. When I’d bought birth control pills from pharmacy - from several pharmacies, in fact - I had gotten clear instructions about how to use them. I knew I was supposed to take one pill every day for three weeks, then take a pause for a week, then start again. I had followed the instructions. But when had I taken the last one?
“I guess it was... last Monday?” It really was nothing more than a guess. That was enough for Melanie, though.
“So it’s... Nine days?” she counted with her fingers. “And still no period?”
I shook my head, wondering where she was going with all this.
“All right”, she said in a decisive tone. “I guess it’s time for another raid.”
“Again?” I moaned. “But they just came back!”
“No, no, you got me wrong.
They aren't going anywhere this time.
We are."
“We?”
“You and I.”
“Just the two of us?” I frowned. “You know that won’t do. They won’t let us.”
“That’s too bad. I suppose we can’t tell them, then.”
“What?” I exclaimed. I thought she knew how bad I was at keeping secrets, or even worse - at lying.
“That’s the only way”, she said mostly to herself. “We’ll leave tonight, after it’s dark. Do you think you can sneak out on Ian?”
“Yes”, I said uncertainly. I knew for sure I could do it - but I didn’t like it. It reminded me too much about the last time I’d done it. Back then, I had thought I would leave him forever. That was not a memory I liked to dwell on.
“Then it’s decided. We’ll do it.”
“Wait - you think you can sneak out on Jared?” In my mind, there was nothing more difficult than trying to hide something from Jared. He was like a wild animal, always aware of his surroundings; it would be hard to get past him.
Melanie laughed. “Don’t worry. I think Jared will be very tired tonight.”
“Okay”, I agreed. “If you’re sure... Wait a minute, where are we going?”
“To the pharmacy.”
***
It was difficult to act like there was nothing wrong. I couldn’t help it - I was overcome by guilt every time I thought about going for the raid without Ian. He would be angry if he knew. More than that, he would be furious. He hated it when I put myself in danger, and I was quite sure that a private raid with Mel would count as “dangerous” in his book.
I was so sure I would get caught in a lie, I tried to avoid Ian the best I could. Even that didn’t work. He caught up with me as I was walking towards kitchen - casually, I hope - and grabbed my elbow. He pulled me to a dark corridor and slid his arms around me.
“I’ve barely seen you today. Where’ve you been?” he asked and pressed his lips against my ear. Then he turned my face towards his and captured my lips in a long, wonderful kiss. It felt lovely as ever, though I couldn’t fully enjoy it - not when I was holding a secret like this.
“I was... around”, I said, gasping for air when Ian finally released me.
“Hmm, specific. Nice”, he laughed and kissed me again. I had been planning on slipping away as soon as I could, but I couldn’t help it - my fingers found their way in his hair on their own and started to play with it. Well, maybe it was good. As long as I was kissing him he couldn’t catch me in a lie.
“Where have
you been?" I asked quickly, when we finally pulled apart.
He winked at me. “Around.”
“Well, now that we aren’t around anymore, can we go and get something to eat? I’m quite hungry.”
That was a lie. I was so nervous I couldn’t even think about eating. Ian, however, seemed to be satisfied by my answer.
“Finally you’re thinking about yourself”, he said, slung his arm around my shoulders and walked me to the kitchen. Mel saw us come in and gave me a pointed stare. Of course, Ian noticed.
“Why’s Mel looking at you like that, Wanderer?”
“Like what?”
“Like... I don’t know, like you’re partners in crime or something”, he said. He looked frustrated.
“Partners in crime?” Melanie laughed. Luckily she could act, though I couldn’t. “What’s the crime, then? Are we planning to steal your pillow?”
“I’m just saying what it looks like”, Ian said defensively.
“Jared’s right. You
are a Doberman.”
“Am not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Am not.”
They threw themselves into heated debate about whether Ian was a Doberman or not. Mel grinned at me in the middle of her argument. I couldn’t help but smile back at her. The longer the debate went on, the longer Ian would be distracted from my pathetic lying skills. In the end, also others took part in the debate. It was already late, when Ian (backed up by Heidi, Lily and Sunny) claimed that he was not a Doberman, just a concerned boyfriend. Then it was already time to go to bed.
I was relieved, when we said goodnight to others and left the kitchen. Soon Ian would fall asleep, and I could slide from his arms and leave with Melanie to get... whatever she needed from the pharmacy, and then come back and face his wrath. Apart from the last part, it all sounded very good to me. Maybe, if we were very quick, he wouldn’t have time to realise we were gone. Maybe there wouldn’t be any wrath for me to face it.
Right. That's probable, I said to myself, as Mel surely would have said, had I still been in her head.
Ian pulled me next to him and cradled me securely in his arms. Poor Ian. He’d be so scared when he’d wake up and realise I wasn’t there.
I waited impatiently for him to fall asleep. Thoughts ran restlessly through my head. Why were we going to a pharmacy? Had Mel figured out what was wrong with me? Maybe that’s why we were going - we were going to find some medication. But if that was the case, why did we have to go on the raid alone? It was dangerous, and she knew it as well as I did.
I tried to remember, what I’d been told in my orientation to this planet. There had been something about nausea and period - certainly, there had been something... I just couldn’t remember what it was. What if it was something dangerous? Was that why Melanie insisted that we didn’t tell Ian or Jared? Was she afraid I would die, afraid how much it would hurt Ian to see that. I closed my eyes tightly. I didn’t want to die anymore. Not now. Everything was so perfect.
Finally Ian’s grip on me loosened and I was able to slide from his arms. I did it very slowly, afraid to do any sudden movements. He wasn’t as tight sleeper as he had been, thanks to me.
I grabbed my clothes and dressed in the corridor. There was no sound of Ian being awake. Good. We had to get far from here before he - or Jared - woke up.
I met Mel at the end of the corridor. She had a grim look on her face - the one Jared always wore when he was going for a raid. I realised Melanie didn’t like this situation any more than I did. Still she seemed to think we had no other options. What on Earth was going on here?
“I got the keys”, Mel said and started to steer me towards to entrance. Though no one blind-folded me anymore, it was still hard for me to find my way around in these caves.
“Keys?”
“To the jeep. Unless you want to walk to Phoenix?”
“Are we going to Phoenix?”
“Sure, why not? There’s a good pharmacy there.”
Here was my chance. My chance to ask what we were going to purchase from the pharmacy. Somehow, I couldn’t make myself ask the question out loud - not before it was too late, and Mel was telling me to be quiet so no one would wake up.
“They are going to wake up anyway”, I reminded her in a hushed voice. “They are bound the hear the Jeep.”
“Yes, but then it’s too late”, she grinned and ushered me to the front seat. I strapped my seatbelt securely around my waist. She wasn’t the most law-abiding person around, when it came to driving.
Melanie started the engine and slammed her foot on the gas pedal. She didn’t care about the speed limits - she never did. This time I was almost grateful about that. It was a long way to Phoenix, and the faster she drove, the sooner we would be back home again. To face Ian’s wrath. I grimaced.
“What’s wrong?” Mel glanced at me. “Does your stomach hurt?”
“No, I - it’s just - Ian’s going to kill me”, I sighed, unable to hide my misery.
“No, he won’t. He’ll be just glad to have you safely back. Trust me.”
I wished I could.
The desert turned into dark blur, as Mel drove forward. I soon lost all track of time. I was so tired, I could have slept on a cactus. Still I was afraid to fall asleep. What if a Seeker found us, while I was asleep? What if I wasn’t there to warn Mel, and they’d get to us before we’d had time to swallow the little syanid pill? No, there was no way I could fall asleep. But I was so tired... So tired...
***
When I opened my eyes again, the desert had disappeared. There was no more sand, no cactuses, no dulling darkness. Instead, everything was bright - so bright my eyes ached. That hadn’t been what had woken me up, though. It had been Melanie. She was shaking my shoulders.
“Mmm... Stop”, I pleaded.
“Finally you’re awake. You can sleep really tight, you know?”
“I guess I learned it from you”, I muttered and stretched myself. My muscles - small as they were - ached to get some movement.
“Well, we can fight about that later. We are here.”
“Here?” I tried to focus my gaze somewhere.
“The pharmacy. In Phoenix. I drove all the way here, so all you have to do is walk in and buy a pregnancy test.”
“Buy what?” I exclaimed loudly.
She clapped her hand over my mouth.
“We aren’t exactly alone in here!” Mel reminded sharply. Just like Jared would. They sure had a lot in common.
“Sorry”, I mumbled. “I was just - “
“Surprised, I get it. I thought you would have figured it out already.”
“How, exactly?” I asked. “You didn’t actually give me a lecture about humans and their reproducing while I was in your head.”
“Must have forgotten about that one. Or maybe I didn’t think you would have needed it. Here I was, thinking you were so innocent...” She shook her head, not bothering to hide her amusement.
“This is not funny!” I cried out on the verge of panic. “Do you - do you really think I - that I - “
“It’s a possibility”, Mel said calmly. “A quite realistic one, if you ask me. Humans usually get morning sickness when they are pregnant.”
I nodded feebly. I could remember that now. It had been shown to me in my orientation, I just had forgotten about it. It felt weird. Scary. Impossible. To think that I -
“It’s not possible”, I said as rationally as I could. “I’ve been taking that pill you told me about. You said it would work.”
“Did you take it? Every day?”
“Yes”, I said, though I wasn’t exactly sure. How could I have been? It was all so confusing. Never in all my lives had I been commanded to take medicine every day. It was new to me, and if I was totally honest I had to admit, that it was hard for me to remember it. Still, I had remembered it. Right?
I shook my head. It was impossible to be sure.
“We can talk about this later”, Mel said decisively. “When we are somewhere safe, preferably. Now, go inside and buy the test.”
“I don’t know what they look like.”
“I’m sure your friendly souls will be more than happy to help”, she said mercilessly. “Now, go on! Go!”
She shoved me forward, until I had no other choice but to climb out of the car. I was shaking. Not because of what I was about to do - I’d been in enough pharmacies to know they would not suspect me - but because of what it meant. I couldn’t... I couldn’t possibly have a child. It was so... Human. I was not a human.
I walked into the pharmacy in a daze. Thoughts rushed through my head so quickly, I had to fight in order to keep them in control. I had a mission to accomplish. A raid; just like any other raid. There was nothing special about this one, I assured myself as I walked towards the counter. Behind it sat a small women, much older than me. She had grayish hair and wrinkles all over her face. She smiled warmly at me, just like any soul would.
“Hello, my dear. How can I help you?”
“I - I - I’m looking for a - a - “ I stumbled, unable to force the word out of my mouth. “A pregnancy test.”
I swallowed.
“A pregnancy test? How lovely! They are here at the back, I can show you...”
Still smiling, she got on her feet and limped towards the farthest corner of the pharmacy. It made me sad to see how difficult it was for her to walk. Old age - that was something even our Healers could not heal.
“What is your name, dear?”
“Petals Open To The Moon”, I said. I had decided it would the easiest thing to introduce myself as Pet, in case someone happened to recognize her. She, apparently, didn’t. She merely smiled at me and said it was nice to meet me.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too”, I said politely.
“So, you suspect you are expecting a child.”
“I... Yes.”
Her smile broadened. “Such a lovely event. Does the father know already?”
“No. No, he doesn’t. I want it to be a... Surprise.” I forced a smile at her. My throat thickened when I thought about breaking the news to Ian. He would be furious already, because I had ran off like that... Would he be angry about this, too? What if -
“Here you are, my dear.” The woman gave me a small box. It looked so harmless, it was almost impossible to believe it really wasn’t. I wasn’t holding just a box. I was holding a key to my whole future. Something that could change my whole life forever. My hands trembled at the weight of it.
“Thank you”, I managed to whisper.
“No problem at all. I hope you will like the outcome.”
“Yes, I hope so too.”
I ran from the pharmacy as soon as possible and stumbled towards the car. Melanie had opened the door for me, probably guessing I could not force my fingers to do it. I sat on the front seat and gave a deep sigh.
Mel looked sharply at me. “Did you get it?”
I nodded.
“Any problems?”
“No.”
“Good. Let’s get out of here.”
“Wait! Shouldn’t we - ?” I gestured towards the box.
“Open it, I’ll drive us somewhere more safe.”
I fought with the lid of the box. Melanie gave an impatient sigh, took the box from me and tore it open with one smooth movement. I turned the box around. Something fell into my lap. It was a stick - about five centimetres long, if even that. It was followed by a piece of paper. Instructions! I folded the paper open and scanned it with my eyes.
“All I have to do is hold the stick against my stomach”, I read aloud. “It’ll start to glow, if - if - “
“Wow, you have it easy”, Mel said, sounding envious. “If you knew what we had to do with the stick...”
I picked the stick up and held in tentatively between my fingers. I could do this. I had to. It was just a small movement - all I needed to do was press is against my stomach for a few minutes. I could do that much. I’d worry about the rest later.
I took a deep breath and raised the hem of my shirt. The stick felt cold against my warm skin. Funny - I didn’t feel warm. In fact, I had goose bumps. My heart was beating like crazy. I waited.
One minute. Nothing happened. Two minutes. Nothing. Three minutes. Yet nothing. Four -
The stick began to glow. At first the light was so insignificant, I barely noticed it. Then it began to get brighter and brighter, until it was so strong it hurt my eyes. I wrenched the stick away from my stomach.
A deep silence filled the car. The only sounds were the growling of the engine and my heavy breathing.
“Well”, Melanie said at last. “I guess we don’t have to wonder about
that anymore. Congratulations, Wanda.”
TBC
***
A/N2: Comments, please?
