Author: Luna
Rating: S
Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Challenge:
Aakkoshaaste IIAdoreI often wonder what is going through my head when I’m not concentrating. My head is full of inexplicable thoughts, something even I cannot explain. When I look at him, I feel something I have never felt before. Often a sigh escapes my lips before I can stop it, when I see him. Perhaps it’s the way his collar shirt moves along with his muscular arms, showing the muscles beautifully. Or perhaps it’s the way I could never have him.
He is the nemesis of my best friend, there’s no way Harry would approve of it. And honestly, wouldn’t it be kind of weird to see a Gryffindor and a Slytherin dating? Or worse, a Muggleborn and a Slytherin Pureblood. I don’t know why I even dream of him.
Okay, I’m lying to myself. Of course I know. He’s hot. He’s gorgeous. And he’s really not that horrible. I did one big Potions project with him a couple of months ago, and in the end we were pretty decent to each other. We actually discussed other things than the project too. I was happy when it was time for Potions, because I knew I could spend time with him without anyone questioning it.
Never even in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would fall for Draco Malfoy. But now that we’re decent, I could never imagine myself with anyone else. The problem is that my adoring of him is prohibited. I can’t love him, because my best friend hates him. I don’t want to lose my friend. And I definitely don’t want the love of my life and my best friend to hate each other. It would never work out.
Why, oh why can’t I just love someone who would be approved? Ron, for example. Everyone would be fine if I loved Ron. No one would give a fuck. But if I told anyone about my love towards Draco, they’d all freak out. They’d be all like, ‘but ‘Mione remember how he treated you!’ It’s in the past and people should really be able to forget about it already!
It’s just that I am the brightest witch of our age, one would think I could feel just the way I want to feel but no. I’m not allowed to love who I love. When I told Ginny about it I realised how bad it was. I really did think Gin would understand, but she didn’t. She wanted me to be with her brother I guess. But I fucking only see Ron as a friend, nothing more. Why can’t anyone understand it? I have grown up with him, he’s like a brother to me. How could I ever even think of anything sexual with him?
But Draco, on the other hand, is sexy, funny, a gentleman for all I know. And he has changed after the war. Everyone’s changed after the war, but Draco is the only one that isn’t understood. He wasn’t a Death Eater by choice! His father forced him to it. He would be dead if he hadn’t become a Death Eater.
I adore him. He has been so strong. He hasn’t cared for others opinions. Because who gives a fuck of what others think, honestly? Even though I shouldn’t give a fuck, I do. I just can’t stop thinking about what others think about me. But I am learning to do decisions because that’s what I want, not what others want. I just need to try.
