Twilight: Jasper Diaries (S), englanniksi

[jazmonster]

Jasper Diaries
Kirjoittaja: jazmonster
Fandom: Twilight-sarja
Ikäraja: S
Paritus: Jasper/Alice
 Stephanie Meyer omistaa hahmot.



       Dear Diary,
Alice gave me this, because she thinks I should have a diary. And she has one too. But  I don't complain about that, after all, she is the love of my life.
   Today nothing very dramatic happened. Emmett and Edward were fighting downstairs, then Carlisle told them to stop, because they make a lot of noise, and Carlisle didn't want anyone to get hurt. Carlisle can be very fatherly when he wants. And he hates violence.
       Now everyone else is downstairs doing something. I don't know what that is, but they're very happy, that I can say.
   "Jazz? Can I come in?"
That's Alice, asking for me. Gotta go, I'll come back later.
   ~*After*~
Alice wanted my help choosing an outfit for the dance parties on monday. Kind of stupid to ask me, I think all of her dresses are beautiful. She should ask Rosalie, she's better with this kind of things... Or Bella...
   ~*Later that day*~
   So, now I'm here again, all alone. Bella came, and now everyone's with her downstairs. I don't want to go. Not that I don't like Bella, she's very nice, but I don't want to put her in danger. If something like her 18th birthday happened again, I would be very upset... And so would Edward!
   Esme is calling for me... I think I'll go. Bye
   -Jasper

[jazmonster]

       Dear Diary,
Last evening was fun, we went playing baseball, because Alice thought it was going to be a thunder storm. Alice and I won. Yay! Bella came to watch the game. She can't play with us, of course. But lately Alice has seen her being a vampire like us. That kind of scares me, because I don't want to be the one that's causing her that. I wish that it would be on purpose. But it would be nice that I wouldn't want to eat her all the time. That's what I'm waiting for.
   So, tomorrow's the school parties. I don't really like dance parties... Everyone's close to each other, happy, joyful, and looking so tasty... I'm glad that Alice has become very good in keeping me away from possible prey. And again, I'm so grateful to have her.
   Someone's angry, I don't know who. I think I'll go and check and make them happier. I hate it when someone's not happy. It spoils my good mood also.
   ~*Back*~
It was Ed.... He was upset because Bella wouldn't want to come to the dance parties, and she had broke her leg. That girl's always on trouble! But I tried to make Edward happier, and I was only about to help him! Wrong again... Ed got really mad at me because I was "messing around" with his feelings. I hate it when people get mad at me for just trying to help!!
   "Jazzy?" Oh, that's Alice asking for me. I got to go, check in tomorrow!
   -Jasper

[Vanamo]

Hmm.. Tulipahan luettua jotain englanniksikin,  yllättävän paljon ymmärsinkin, lähes kaiken! 
Ihan kiva idea, Jasper kirjottamassa päiväkirjaa..
Mitään erityistä juonta tässä en silleen huomannut, mutta se varmaan kehittyy jos lukuja tulee lisää?
Mutta oli tää hyvä näinkin kyllä!
Eli tykkäsin, kiitoksia, kehitit kielitaitoani. (:

[Honeyblond]

Ihana!

Jasper/Alice ficcejä on niin vähän, kiva että edes joku jaksaa kirjottaa niitä. Jasper on ehdottomasti mun lempparihahmo Twailaiteissa, ja se oli tässä ficissä musta tosi aidon tuntuinen. Ja Alice oli tietysti yhtä suloinen kuin ennenkin.
Ja sä onnistuit myös kohottamaan mun itsetuntoa, kun mä huomasin miten hyvin ymmärsin kaiken englanniksi

Jatkoa vaan kehiin nopeesti!

[sarqq]

Ihan kiva idea joo, vielä kun saisi jotain kunnon juonta peliin mukaan niin mielenkiinto ei lopahtaisi heti.  Luvuista toivoisin ehkä vähän pidempiä, aika lyhyitä nuo kaksi meinaan oli. Enkkukaan ei pääse ruostumaan, vaikka eikös tänne laiteta suomenkielisiä ficcejä yleensä? Korjatkaa jos olen väärässä tuon asian suhteen!

Jään seurailemaan! 

[Luci]

En yleensä lue Twilight-ficcejä, mutta kun pitkästä aikaa eksyin tälle osastolle oli pakko vilkaista. Ja lukea. Ja kommentoida.

Idea on ihan kiva, Jasperin PoV muttei siltikään liian tarinamainen. Itselläni käy usein niin, että kiinnostun tämänkaltaisista ficeistä aluksi, mutta innostus lopahtaa, jos jokainen luku on melko lyhyt ja juoneton. Itse ainakin haluaisin tietää ainakin vähän enemmän.

Ja pakko vielä mainita, että silmääni pisti muutamia virheitä. Moni virheistä vaikutti kuitenkin enemmänkin ajatusvirheeltä, kuin varsinaiselta taidon puutteelta. Esimerkiksi:

Bella came, and now everyone's with him downstairs

Him pitäisi tietenkin olla her. Tämänkaltaisia pikkuvirheitä, mutta kuitenkin asiakokonaisuuden hahmottamista vaikeuttavia virheitä siis. Eli betaa suosittelen, jos satut englanninkielisiä tekstejä betailevan henkilön löytämään.

[jazmonster]

       kiitos kaikille kommenteista, ja kyllä yritän huomata pikkuvirheet (him/her)







       Dear Diary,
Today was the school dance parties. Me and Alice did dance a bit, but I get a bit anxious in the middle of so many people. I still can't fully control my dark past's urge to bite human. Ed and Bella did came after all, but they weren't dancing. Rose and Emmet were there, too, but they disappeared somewhere in the middle of the parties. After all it was a nice evening, I felt that everyone was quite happy- even Bella. Alice suggested that we could go hunting tonight. I think we could actually... I don't have a better plan for tonight, anyway.
   ~*After hunting*~
It was great to be hunting after a long time! I was getting a bit too thirsty... I haven't been able to feel the wonderful joy of running as fast as you can for a while. At night and in the forest we can be who we are- Vampires.
   I've noticed that Edward's been pretty sad lately. I wonder why, because Bella came to the parties and she hasn't been sad or anything... I hope it isn't anything serious.
Well, I'll go now.
   -Jasper

   Dear Jasper's Diary,
Here's Emmett and Edward.
-I'm not here! This was your idea, remember?
-Great supporting, Ed!
-Like you'd need support with your crazy ideas. Just because Jaz forgot his diary on the table doesn't mean he wants us to read it!
-Oh come on! It was so tempting!
-How can you be so childish, Em?
-I'm not childish!
-Well, you sure can act like one.
-Oh thanks, I totally pulled off the acting course-Heyy!
-See? Your brain works like a six-year-olds.
-You're the best brother I've ever had...........
-Technically, I'm not your brother...
-Let's just read this, OKAY?
   ~*After reading the Diary*~
-Wow...wow...WOW!
-Stop that Em! You can talk, can't you? Or have you gone back to that six-year-old you?
-I didn't know Jasper and Alice were so in looove......
-Oh come on, you've lived with them for what, sixty years?
-Yeah, but they just are in their room and don't show it in public so much...
-Does everyone have to be so open like you and Rosalie, kissing around everywhere (and by everywhere I mean everywhere) and-
-Ok, ok, ok, I get it... I was just wondering.
-When wouldn't you..?
-Hey! I think I heard something!
-Relax, it's just you and your ego talking to each other...
-No! It's Jazz coming home! I could recognize that weird walking style in my dreams!
-Really?
-Yeah it's definitely Jasper, bye bye Jazz!
-Yeah, bye Jasper, and by the way, I do hate it when you mess around with my feelings!!

[Vanamo]

Emmett<3
Todellista veljesrakkautta toisen päiväkirjan lukeminen..
Tämä luku oli jo kivasti pidempi  (vaikkei tosin pidempikään olisi pahitteeksi ^^), ja vaikkei tässä vielä  tavallaan ole mitään erityisempää juonta, on tätä ihan mukava lukea. Silti jokin vähän tapahtumarikkaampi juoni olisi mukava ja lukeminen oli mielenkiintoisempaa. Mutta kyllä se varmaan tähän kehkeytyy jos laitat vielä jatkoa? 

[phoebeZ]

 Aivan ihana! Tosiaanki tykkän kaikeista Jasper-ficeistä, kiva et oli välillä enkuks : )
Tuhmat Edi ja Emmett kun luki Jasperin päiväkirjan (;
kiitoksia paljon ♥

[kuppi_kahvia]

aivan ihana toi loppu ""i do hate it when you mess around with my feelings!"

muutenkin kiva lukea enkuksi <:

[jazmonster]

    Joo sori jos kukaan ei jaksa lukee näitä tai mitää, mut sillon ku tein näitä ni en ajatellu näistä mitään superpitkiä tai juonellisia, joten yrittäkää kestää tai älkää lukeko

       Dear Diary,
I cant believe those two! First, thank you Edward, "Just because Jaz forgot his diary on the table doesn't mean he wants us to read it!" that was very thoughtful, but I hate you right now, because you didn't do anything to stop Emmett!!
   "You can't stop Emmett when he gets in to that mood!", that's Ed yelling across the house. Great. He's been listening my thoughts all day, just in case. What kind of vampire can't stop a six-year-old boy? Just wondering...
   I hope Ed and Em won't talk to Esme, Carlisle, Rose or Alice about the things in my diary. I know that nobody could tease me more about these things than Emmett, so the worst part is over, right? But still, I wouldn't actually be jumping around with joy after Rosalie heard what I feel when I look into the mysterious golden eyes of my true love.
   Edward wants to talk to me about the diary. So, I'll go now.
   -Jasper


       Dear Diary,
I've been spending a lot of time with Edward lately. He has been so happy all the time, and even though I don't notice it by myself, I tend to spend most of my time with happy humans. Or vampires. I asked him why he was so happy all the time and he told me that Bella has finally agreed to marry him. Bella has been considering it for a while, because Ed told her that if she would marry him, they would do something... Alone... And Edward is also considering that he could make Bella one of us by himself. That also means that Bella should marry him. After all, it's nice that Edward has also found himself a partner... He has been alone for so long.
   So, about that Bella-being-a-vampire thing. Ali has seen it much more clearly now. Bella will be one of us. Alice just don't know when, because her visions depend on our own decisions, and obviously Ed hasn't decided the date yet.
   I'm exited about that, too! I can't wait to spend more time with Bella without having the risk of biting her. Her emotions are so fascinating, and I would like to investigate them more. And it isn't possible in this situation, she being a human, and me being a vampire.
   Now, I'm going downstairs with Ali, maybe Ed has made up some kind of a plan about Bella's future! BYE.
   -Jasper

[Vanamo]

Ali

Aluksi ihmettelin tuota Alia, onko se Alicen lempinimi tai jotain??

Tämä oli aika lyhyt pätkä, mutta kyllä tätä ihan mielellään lukee.
Tosin se yhdistävä "punainen lanka" tästä puuttuu, pitemmän päälle on uuvuttavaa lukea tekstiä, vaikka se ihan hyvää olisikin, ilman kunnon juonta.

Tässä on kyllä hyvä idea, Jasper kirjoittaa päiväkirjaa, mutta olisi, ainakin minusta, mukavampi jos tässä olisi vähän suunnitellumpi (en osaa tätä paremminkaan ilmaista) juoni.

En nimittäin ainakaan huomaa, että kaikki tapahtumat punoutuisivat yhteen esimerkiksi jonkun tietyn asian kautta.

Ihan mielelläni tätä lisääkin lukisin kuitenkin.

Anteeksi sekava kommentti, tässä on muutenkin varmaan sanottu samat asia sataan kertaan.