Nimi: Man of a broken soul
Kirjoittaja: Vlad
Ikäraja: S
Fandom: Doctor Who
Genre: angst
Paritus: minä/Ten
Disclaimer: I do not own a thing, the whole amazing series is the work of Gatiss and Moffat and thus belongs to them and BBC. I'm just playing without any benefit.
A/N: Tämä teksti osallistuu haasteisiin Lainaushaaste ja Parita itsesi fiktiiviselle henkilölle. Lainaushaasteen lainaus löytyy ficin lopusta kursiivilla. Tästä tekstistä ei todellakaan pitänyt tulla angstia, vaan jotain aivan muuta. Kuuntelin kuitenkin sen verran surullista kappaletta, että tekstin oli oltava angstia (yritin kirjoittaa originaalia toista haastetta varten suomeksi, mutta teksti halusi muotoutua lopulta näin). Tällä parituksella saatan kirjoittaa joskus sen toisenkin ideani, mutta nyt olkoon näin. Kommentteja olisi ihana saada mahdollisilta lukijoilta. Teksti on lyhyt (oneshot silti), mutta tämä olisi kärsinyt, jos olisin venyttänyt. Omistettu kahdelle ihanalle ihmiselle
Okaketulle ja
Nabylle♥.
Tämä kappale toimi inspiraationa ja taustamusiikkina. Suosittelen kuuntelemaan, jos haluaa virittäytyä tunnelmaan, mutta silloin varoituksena: saattaa itkettää.
He is standing beside the blue phone box. His face doesn’t show his pain but it’s his eyes which tell me how deep his misery sweeps. I know his sorrow is beyond my reach, it’s not from this world and I can never truly understand it. You must experience it, experience the great Time War, experience the loss of everyone you loved, twice, three times and even more. The loss of so many loved ones you can’t even imagine. And that’s his sorrow. It’s always written in his features, you can see it but he will never tell you anything about it.
“There was a war. The great Time War, the biggest ever occurred. And I was there. Fought in the front line and I was there when my entire race was wiped out of existence.”
That’s all he’ll ever tell me. Everything else in him is a mystery, something I can only imagine it and I know I will get it wrong. He’s not a human but when he’s sad he is more human-like than ever. And it pains me that I’m unable to heal him. No one can, not even Rose Tyler, woman who loved him and only woman in this universe who got love from him. Still, I will hope and wait forever because one day I will get my reward.
“Hey,” I mutter as I step closer to him. He doesn’t smile. I haven’t seen a smile on his lips for ages, the last time I saw him smiling was the day he was reunited – for a while – with Rose. I was standing there, right next to them, and I tried to hide my pain from him. I was never convinced if I succeeded. But, ironic or not, that was the day I realized that he meant even more to me than I have never expected. From that day on, I have tried to forget how awful it was for me when I saw him smiling. Same time I loved it. Everything for him and never mind me, right?
“Are you alright?” I ask and he gives me a small smile that gives me a hope. A hope that he will recover if it’s possible for a time lord. How can I now, I’m completely human.
“Sure, thanks” he whispers but still I can hear an echo of pain in his voice. It’s almost inaudible but I know where to look.
“You miss her, right?”
I regret my question immediately because he flinches. I hate hurting him but I can’t help it. I just want to help him, heal him, make him better. However, I’m still surprised of his answer.
“Yes, a little. But it helps to have you by my side. I’m not alone, you know. I hate loneliness because it brings the memories back. Though I can never really forget them.”
I take the last steps between us and I smile to him. He’s expression wavers but I don’t care. I just want to tell him I will always be here by his side, I will never let go if he doesn’t want me to let go. I’m not a loser, I may be unable tell him that I love him or even proof it but it is still true.
“You have just lived too much in the past. Maybe it’s a time someone like me takes control and makes you move.” I laugh and slap him gently. “Oh, come on! Let’s get going. Show me the stars above, show me all the beautiful things in this world and beyond it.”
The Doctor smiles truly for the first time in ages and it makes me feel pretty proud. I’m not worthless after all. I may be not able to heal him entirely but I may be able to prevent the greater misery, and learn to know him, learn to know the man I love.
“Come on then, girl.” He becomes silent and looks at me, silent tinkling in his brown eyes. “Hang on. I can’t call you just a girl.” I smile. “You never told me your name.” He looks astonished.
“Well, yeah. I never had an opportunity. Timing was never right. Either you were swimming in your own misery or too distracted.” I smile weakly and follow him inside the phone box. There, I whisper: “You can call me Cathy.”
He laughs. “Alright then,
Cathy, what do you want to see?”
I laugh freely and lean on the console board.
“Show me a place you think is the most beautiful place after Gallifrey.” Mentioning his long gone home planet makes him close his eyes for a while. Then, he finally smiles and gives me a nod.
“Off we go then.”
Adrift upon the sea of time, the lonely god wanders from shore to distant shore, upholding the laws of the stars above.
