Title: Neither of us want this… So, why are we in this moment?Author: (I confess it's my own fic) Kaitou Kid-fan 4ever (
Kiddo-sama)
Beta: TheYaoiYuri
Kiitoksia paljon !
Fandom: Glee
Genre: Romance, Fluffy, Angst
Ikäraja: K-11
Pairing: Kurt/Sebastian
Summary: Sebastian wasn’t so bad, was he? Kurt didn’t know anymore. Warnings: Spoilaa vähäsen Gleen 3.tuotantokautta, jaksoa Michael (3X11)Disclaimer: En omista Glee'tä. Kaikki hahmot kuuluvat Ryan Murphylle, ja minä vaan ahdistelen niitä
(pikku raasut) hieman. En saa tästä minkäänlaista rahallista korvausta, vain kirjoittelen
itseni ja teidän iloksi.
[A/N:] Joops...
Olen huono A/N'issä... Kiitos avistopan niin sorruin katsomaan tässä pari vk sitten Gleen 3kauden Michael jakson, joka oli aika traumaattinen ainakin mulle:'D YouTuben avustuksella sitten tälläinen idea lähti pyörimään päässä, ja koska oon lukenut pari aivan loistavaa englanninkielistä ficciä Glee'stä, niin päätin koetella omaa kielitaitoani...
Joka siis on huono. Tällä kertaa omistukset lähtee seuraaviin osoitteisiin;
Betalleni
TheYaoiYurille, kiitos että suostuit betamaan tän tekstin!
Zacharias, tää on sullekin koska tykkäät Warblerseista jopa paljon enemmän kun mä:)
Epik'lle, koska tykkäät kanssa Sebastianista
-mitä minä olen tarkkaillut teidän Glee keskusteluja Zachyn kanssa- Wiivuskalle, joka tykkäsi tästä ymmärtääkseni kovinkin paljon, parituksesta riippumatta(: ♥
Lisäksi tahdon omistaa tämän kaikille ihanille
Räpeltäjille, jotka ovat pitäneet seuraa Facebookin täytteisinä iltoina, joilta olen
ehkä saanut inspiraatiota tähän ficciin!:)
Sekä tietysti
Finin Gleekeille, kaikille teille !
Ja kaikille jotka tykkäätte tästä ficistä
♥ Kommentit ovat rakkaita; olen todella iloinen jos viitsit jättää puumerkkisi jälkeesi! ♥
Ja nyt painun roskiin tästä höpöttämästä Enjoy! ♥
[:A/N]_______________________________________________________________Neither of us want this…
…So, why are we in this moment?Kurt laid in his bed, eyes closed and breathed calmly. Everything was a mess. Blaine was in the hospital, alone, because visiting time was over. And Kurt felt so hollow, when he wasn’t with Blaine. He really hoped, in every second, that he could be in hospital, when Blaine was there. It was a horrible to just wait and try to fall a sleep alone. When he knew Blaine wanted him to be near.
Kurt couldn’t sleep at all, the ticking of the clock was so loud. He tried to cover his ears, but it was impossible. He just wanted to be near Blaine, was it too much to ask? Kurt didn’t thought so. Longing was shouting in his breast, and it didn’t accept to be quiet. To be alone, it wasn't his cup of tea; he has been alone so many moments in the past, and now he just wanted to be with somebody who loves him.
Fucking Sebastian. Kurt really didn't understood how he could do that to Blaine. Well, yeah, the slush was meant to
him, Kurt, but still. How can anybody can do that to anyone? It was so wrong. Even if Kurt could never stand Sebastian, he couldn’t even think of throwing the boy with
rock salt slush.
Actually, it was pretty scary to think that somebody could hate someone so much… And, what had Kurt done to Sebastian, to get the boy hate him
so much? He didn't understood. Because Sebastian didn’t really
love Blaine, it was very clear to everyone. But Kurt didn't find any other reason for Sebastians crazy hatred. And that was just one reason why he couldn’t sleep.
After hours of desperate thinking, Kurt fell in some kind of sleep, very light one, but sleep anyhow. Until Burt walked to his door and said he’ll go to cinema with Carole. And Kurt was startled awake. He answered something like ‘Okay’ to his dad, and after he heard the door close, he walked in the kitchen.
Kurt had just drank almost a glass of water, when the door opened, again. Finn was at Rachels house, so, Kurt thought it would be dad. Or Carole.
‘’What was left?’’ He shouted. But nobody answered. Instead of that he heard someone coming in the room. Kurt turned around, and when he saw who came in the room, the glass in his hand fell in the sink.
‘’What are you doing in here?’’ Kurts face changed pale when he looked in the comers green eyes.
Sebastian Smythe was standing in
his kitchen. And how the hell he even
get inside the house?
‘’Kurt. I’ve got to tell you som-‘’ Sebastian started.
‘’I don’t want to know! Get out of this house!’’ Kurt shouted in panic.
‘’No, Kurt, I really need to-‘’
‘’I DON’T WANT TO KNOW! And, now, GET OUT of here! How did you get inside? However, GET HELL OUT OF THERE!’’ Kurt shouted and indicated with his hands.
But Sebastian didn’t even step back. No, Sebastian took couple of steps closer to Kurt. He watched Sebastian a bit scared.
‘’Kurt. I….I just wanted you to know..’’ Sebastian whispered, there were only couple of steps distance to Kurt.
‘’I.. I don’t know why I did that slush-thing… You.. Kurt, you woke up feelings inside me, and I really, really hated that. But now… I just can’t resist you anymore.’’ Sebastian looked in Kurts eyes all the time when he talked.
‘’What do you mean?’’ Kurt whispered, he was vigilant of everything Sebastian said.
‘’I mean.. I am really sorry I threw the rock salt slush. And I’m very, very sorry about that it was meant.. To.. You. I didn’t know what the feelings you made – and make –me feel were. I thought they were.. Something like hate and… I don’t know.’’
‘’I… I don’t know what are you talking about. I don’t understand you…’’ Kurt frowned, he was very confused.
Sebastian took a step closer to Kurt, what made the smaller boy swallow. Just one step, and Sebastian would be against his body…
‘’If I could change the past, I wouldn’t throw the slush. And I really regret that. But most of all, I regret that the slush was meant to you.’’
‘’Why you did throw it?’’ Kurt whispered, he didn’t really perfectly understand Sebastian. But he did understand something.
‘’I didn't know about my feelings. I thought they were something so different from what they really are.’’
Kurt sighed desperately. He watched the floor a while, trying to get some sense is all this mess. Then he turned his head to Sebastians face, and said:
‘’What do you talk about feelings? You don’t love Blaine. No, you don't even have a crush on him. You don’t know anything about feelings!’’
Sebastian looked very confused for a second.
‘’What? Oh, yeah, you’re right. Blaine is just a friend to me, well, not even that anymore, I think… But now I’m talking about my feelings towards you. Do you understand now what I mean?’’
‘’Feelings towards me? No, I really don’t understand what the hell are you talking about!’’
Kurt was a bit angry, he didn’t manage to understand the mysterious way Sebastian was talking. And neither did he know what Sebastian was doing in the house. Kurt just wanted answers.
‘’Okay, let’s suppose I do believe you have ‘feelings towards me’.. What kind of feelings do you mean?’’ Kurt asked and looked in Sebastians eyes. He had a feeling that Sebastian wouldn’t leave before Kurt got a notice of those
'feelings towards him'.
Sebastian took one more step, the boy was very close to Kurt now. Their bodies touched. Kurt could feel the warm breath in his face. His skin was on goose bumps, and heart pulsated harder.
And why? Kurt couldn’t answer to himself.
‘’I mean…’’Sebastian started, and leaned his face closer Kurts.
‘’Feelings like this…’’ he whispered and pressed his lips against Kurts lips.
Kurt yelped something what was quite a mess, and Sebastian slid his tongue in Kurts mouth. Kurt shut his eyes, trying to focus how to breath normally. But it wasn’t easy at all, when Sebastian brought his hand in Kurts hairs and pulled the smaller boy closer. The kiss deepened, and Kurts fingers dug on the sinks surface.
Finally Sebastian broke the kiss, and receded far from Kurt. Both boys were out of breath. Kurt looked Sebastian very confused and a little shocked.
‘’What….What was that..?’’ He whispered and receded against the sink.
‘’Kurt! Don’t you understand?’’ Sebastian was clearly desperate.
‘’I… I don’t think I did understood it.. Right.’’ Kurt said and blushed lightly.
‘’How you did understand it?’’ Sebastian asked watching Kurts eyes with passion, what made Kurt feel a bit unprotected. Suddenly he noticed he was alone in house with Sebastian….
‘’Umm… It doesn’t matter. I just… Mm. Maybe you should leave.’’ Kurt said and turned his head away. He didn’t want to face Sebastian.
‘’Kurt, I have to know what is in your mind!’’ Sebastian exclaimed and took Kurts hands in his own.
‘’Just tell me what you meant!’’ Kurt answered.
‘’I meant; I love you.’’ Sebastian said and looked deep in Kurts eyes.
Kurt looked very shocked. He was speechless, and finally he took a couple steps away from Sebastian.
‘’I’m sorry’’, was everything he could say looking at the floor.
‘’Kurt. You don't have any reason to be sorry.’’
‘’Yes I do. Now you think I can feel something towards you, don’t you?’’ Kurt exclaimed under provocation.
‘’Kurt, you really do have feelings towards me. It’s not just my imagination. I know it’’, Sebastian said smiling and took a couple of steps closer to Kurt. Again.
‘’No, I don’t! How can you even think something like that?’’ Kurt shouted and retreated against a fridge.
‘’Really? Oh Kurt, I can see it in your behavior. Your reaction when I come closer to you.’’ Sebastian said and smirked when he came closer to Kurt.
When the boy was only a step away from Kurt, he stopped. Sebastians eyes watched Kurts arm, and the smaller boy bit his lips lightly.
‘’You see? Your skin is on goose bumps. What is proof in your mind?’’ Sebastian whispered.
‘’Th-the fridge is cold…’’ Kurt mumbled, he was pretty red in face.
‘’Oh really? Well, then, your breath. It is much more faster when I’m close to you.’’ Sebastian didn’t gave up. When Kurt didn’t say anything, Sebastian continued.
‘’And your heartbeat is very fast, too. How do you explain that, honey?’’
‘
’What did you call me?’’ Kurt asked in shock. Using the couple-name cracked in his ear unpleasantly.
‘’Does it matter? Because you have crush on me, so…’’ Sebastian said and approached Kurt.
‘’Yes,
is does! It does matter…’’ Kurt said and blushed again, when Sebastians hands landed on the fridges wall, so that Kurts head was left between them.
‘’You know, you’re such cutie when you blush’’, Sebastian said and tickled Kurts cheek with his lips.
‘’I don’t want you. Please, just leave. It’s all I’m asking you..’’, Kurt whispered desperately, knowing Sebastian wouldn’t leave.
‘’I don’t believe you.’’ Sebastian breathed in Kurts ear.
‘’Why don’t you believe me? Okay, maybe I have a bit of a crush on you, but it doesn’t change anything!’’ Kurt mumbled, trying to hold back the tears.
‘’You know, Blaine doesn’t need to know about us… So, it does change something, doesn’t it?’’
‘’You would tell him… I know it…’’ Kurt whispered painfully.
‘’I won’t. If I promise I won’t tell him, would you be mine for a moment? I don’t think you know me at all. Please, let me tell you who I am…’’ Sebastian answered very fast.
‘’Yeah, you’re right; I don’t know you at all. So I can’t trust you at all.’’ Kurt said, his voice cracked a bit. He felt very uncomfortable, when Sebastian was so near, whispering in his ear.
‘’Please, trust me. I promise I won’t let you down you.’’
‘’Why? Why is it so important that I’m trusting you?’’ Kurt couldn’t hold his tears anymore; they flowed down his cheeks, leaving a wet tracks behind.
‘’Shh, please, don’t cry…’’ Sebastian said quietly and wiped the tears away from Kurts cheeks.
‘’I don’t want to cheat on Blaine! Don’t you understand, I love him! Just please, leave me alone…’’ Kurt sobbed and slapped Sebastians hand away.He tried to take couple of steps away from Sebastian, but the boy kidnapped Kurt in his arms and would not let him go.
‘’Please, let me go…’’ Kurt cried, he hated to show his weakness to Sebastian. But Sebastian wouldn’t let go, he pulled Kurts face against his shoulder, and let Kurt cry. Sebastian slid his hand on Kurts back, whispering words which were intended to calm. And Kurt no longer tried to fight back, he let the bad feeling flow along his tears in the Sebastians blazer.
After a time that felt like an eternity, Kurt was much more calm, he just leaned against Sebastians shoulder and listened the boys talk, let him slid a hand on his back. Kurt was very quiet and tired. And he felt, that he was starting to trust Sebastian, witch wasn’t good at all. Or was it? The boy had stayed there all this time, trying to explain to Kurt why did he do the things that were so wrong. And Kurt listened him.
Sebastian wasn’t so bad, was he? Kurt didn’t know anymore. Couple days ago he would have swared Sebastian was evil and so on. Now he didn’t know. Sebastian had told so much things to him, and at the same time, trying to calm him down. He didn’t sound so bad anymore.
‘’Who you are, Sebastian Smythe?’’ Kurt whispered with hoarse voice after crying.
‘’Do you want know?’’ Sebastian asked smiling.
Kurt nodded, and said:
‘’Yeah, I’d love to know you. Well, obviously not like… Umm, you know what I mean. But now I’m very tired…’’ Kurt mumbled against Sebastian shoulder, and made the other boy laugh.
‘’Yeah, I guess I know what you’re meaning. Okay, you want go sleep now?’’ Sebastian asked and mixed Kurts hairs, getting the smaller boy exclaim dazed.
‘’Yep.. So, would you leave…?’’ Kurt asked quietly and turned his head up facing Sebastian.
‘’If you don’t mind, I would stay the night…’’ Sebastian said and smiled.
‘’What do you mean?’’ Kurt asked vigilant tone in his voice.
‘’Oh. No, I didn’t meant anything like.. Well, I'll just stay here until you fall a sleep’’, Sebastian answered, slid his hand from Kurts cheek tracing his chin, and pressed light and short kiss against Kurts lips.
‘’Well, then I don't have anything against it. If you promise you don’t do anything inappropriate..’’
‘’Great. Let’s go, then’’ Sebastian said and boys went upstairs, in Kurts room and shut the door behind them.
*
So, here we go again. Kurt laid in his bed, eyes closed and breathed calmly. Everything was a mess, still. Sebastian sat under his head, stroking his hairs, the boy leaned against the head of his bed. Kurt was too tired to think about how wrong it was to Blaine.Kurt was very tired, he didn’t want care about anything else than Sebastian near him. He could never had thought he would lay in Sebastian arms willingly. Well, not even forced to it.
‘’Tell me something about yourself’’, Kurt whispered in the dark silence.
‘’What do you want to know?’’ Sebastian asked.
‘’Anything. What are you thinking now?’’ Kurt said and smiled when Sebastian stroked his cheek.
‘’I think you’re beautiful. Very beautiful. And vulnerable. I think about you’’, he said.
‘’No, I didn’t want know what do you think about me, I wanted to know something about you. Because I want know you, Sebastian Smythe.’’
FIN Kommentin jättö suotavaa, kun olet kerran tänne asti lukenut♥
