Title: Immature love
Author: Kaitz
Rating: K-11
flawless nosti (syömishäiriötekstin ikäraja väh. K-11)Genre: Angst, romance
Pairing: ?/?
Summary: She loved him because she needed him. He needed her because he loved her.Warnings: Anoreksia, mahdolliset kielioppivirheet
A/N: Teksti on vanhaa ja lyhyttä ja ja siihen aikoihin englantini oli vielä hirveän yksinkertaista, mutta lukijankin on varmaan helpompi lukea, jos ei tarvitse tarkistaa joka kolmatta sanaa sanakirjasta.
Kommenttia kaipailen.
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Immature love says: “I love you because I need you.”
Mature love says: “I need you because I love you.”She loved him because she needed him. She needed him to guard her sleep while she dreamt about happy-endings and prince Charming that would save her from the evil wizard. She needed him because she wanted somebody to love her in a way that made her smile and stare at the shooting stars. She needed him because she was too weak and too deep in the sea of vanity.
He was
her hero.
She could trust that he would be here for her when she was breaking down under problems. He held her when others had left her already. He did never doubt her, he just loved her as she was. He taught her to see the world’s beauty, even at the stormiest day; he comforted her that the sun would still shine someday even though his life was not the brightest, either. He was like the sun; always happy, always smiling when he was with her. But she was listening to her heart, what it wanted to tell her, and it said he wasn’t the one she loved.
She searched her fulfillment. She owned him, yes, but she wanted more. She knew he was in love with her, and maybe for a while she thought she was as well. But then she remembered there were other girls that could make him as happy as he was with her. She wanted someone special. Someone who was different, funny, smart, and without a doubt he was all that, but she just didn’t notice it.
She was day time dreamer and waited the day when her prince would come to her.
And when he was sad, she nestled next to him on the bed and assured everything was fine. She felt like it was her duty after everything he had done for her. He stroked her back and whispered,
comfort me. And she did, she purred as he stroked and kissed her, and they embraced each other like it was the last day they would meet. At night they used to mumble funny things into the ears.
She always had to choose his clothes. She always had to choose ice cream they bought. She always had to choose where they went at the Friday evening. Then she never could choose and he chose after all. He was happy and smiled like the sun.
She hated herself because she didn’t love him. She was with him just because he reminded her of somebody she had known long ago, but couldn’t remember anymore. She was pretty sure she had been in love with that other boy. She wasn’t even sure if that other boy was just a dream or a vision because her life felt like she was always asleep; everything was blurry and fuzzy. But she couldn’t leave him because it would make him sad, and she hated it when he was unhappy.
She needed his goofy but radiant smile. Otherwise she would die from longing.
Wasn’t it good she got to know him well although it made her see that the sun was way too hot for her?
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He needed her because he loved her. He loved her hair, eyes, laugh which sounded like thousand bells would peal, touch which made him tremble. He loved the way she said his name, rested her head on his shoulder, wrapped her arms around his waist and blew to his neck. He loved her soft lips and their salty but sweet taste.
He could spend hours just sitting and watching how she slept and dreamt. He didn’t want to sleep because then her beauty would be wasted, and he wanted see every vibration and hear every sigh she made. He stroked her hair, she groaned and he laughed. And always when she woke up, he slept. And she watched.
They made many trips to the beach just to see the sundown. She lay on the golden sand, her eyes were closed and the sun made her skin orange and red. He sat next to her, stroked her cheek or just embraced her, and it felt like he was never getting enough of her. The sundown was never as beautiful as she, he never really noticed it. She was the sweetest thing alive.
She was even more beautiful when she smiled. Dimples, yes, small dimples, sometimes bigger. Depending had she eaten or not. Sometimes he had to remind her.
There was a tree she liked. They could sit hours in the shade of it, just kissing, tasting, embracing and eating ice cream. His own was always melting because he just watched how she ate it and how her lips turned blue. After it she always fell asleep in his lap, and he sat there again, waiting for her to wake up and smile at him again. And finally she always woke up and her eyes glittered as she told him about her dream where was the blue sea, the blue sky and seagulls, and they were going to get married. He laughed and told her it was just a dream, and they could go to the beach again tomorrow. And she laughed as well, oh, how foolish her dream had been. It hurt him more than anything.
His world was simple; there was only her and her amazing being.
But his friend was getting tired and fading fast.
He didn’t want to let her go. Every night he feared it would be the last and he would have to say goodbye to his dear. She had the warmest heart he had ever found. She had the kindest smile he had ever seen. But he could do nothing about her destiny; he thought they had more days, but the destiny took her away from him too early. Because it was easier to believe in destiny, think that it was meant to happen, than accept the fact that he couldn't do more to save her.
He lowered his beloved into the ground and cried tears that were forever with her. She had always liked this place, and now it belonged only to her. He should have been ready, seen the nearing end, but he was too blind. And now he sat under her tree alone.
She gave him her heart and stole his.
Her smile kept him alive.
But he never let go.