Nimi: Crowned in despair
Kirjoittaja: Hikari
Fandom: Dragon Age (The Stolen Throne)
Genre: angstahtavaa draamapohdintaa
Ikäraja: K-11
Paritus/Päähenkilöt: päähenkilö Maric, paritukset: Maric/Rowan, Maric/Katriel (maininta), Rowan/Loghain (maininta)
Yhteenveto: “Justice that a king must dispense.”Vastuuvapaus: Dragon Age & hahmot kuuluvat BioWarelle, lyriikat Sonic Syndicatelle
Varoitukset: eipä muuta kuin paljon spoilereita, sijoittuu kirjan loppupuolelle
A/N: Noniin, vihdoinkin saan kirjoitettua jotain
Kun vielä löytyisi fandomille lukijoita Finistä. Osallistun tällä Tavoita tunnelma- haasteen ja biisinä on
Sonic Syndicate - Crowned In Despair (sanat ficin lopussa), ja teksti pyörii Maricin ajatuksenjuoksun ympärillä.
~~*~~*~~
She had been the biggest thing Maric fought for. A beautiful, delicate, young elven beauty who had almost became one of the many casualties of the war. Green-eyed spy sent by the Arl of Amaranthine to warn the rebels, just to get assaulted by dirty convicts and then timely rescued by the prince. She was the target of racist slurs and suspicious looks from Rowan and Loghain, and the Orlesians had been too close of getting to her. Yes, Katriel was indeed something Maric wanted to protect. Just for her he was determined to win the war, to end the injustice of the usurper.
And that was exactly the reason he had been so blind.
Maric paced around his bedchambers, eyes still wide from the shock, breathing unevenly and trying to gather his thoughts.
She’s dead. I killed her.The blood in his hands seemed to burn, like it was transferring poison into Maric. The poison made of lies and betrayal, something Maric had seen so many times before yet never felt so close. He couldn’t forgive himself how easily he had been fooled by the honey curls and fluttering eyelashes, how easily he had thrown away everything between him and Rowan. How easily he had waved off even the most irrefutable pieces of evidence his friends had tried to show him.
I loved her and I killed her. How could I…?Maric suppressed the urge to scream. The number of lives he had taken during the rebellion was high, measured in hundreds if not even thousands, but only now he could see the pool of blood surrounding him. He was supposed to be the king and bring peace to Ferelden but because of his own naïveté he had led almost an entire army to their doom.
“You must believe that I love you.”When the longsword had run through Katriel, Maric’s heart had stopped. She had looked at him with trust and love, tears flowing freely, just begging for his forgiveness. She hadn’t flinched once. She hadn’t backed away or gasped when he had drawn his sword, she had walked towards him. Like she had been trying to tell him that she was ready to die to prove her love. Maric felt sick.
“Everything is fine!”The image of dying Katriel was burnt in Maric’s mind, making him relive her final breath over and over, looking how blood gushed out of her mouth and how the spark of life faded from her eyes. His feelings were mixed, tangled, and he couldn’t separate the pain of betrayal from the despair of losing a loved one.
“Justice that a king must dispense.”Maric slumped down to the edge of his bed, exhausted and numb. He tried to tell himself that what he had done would make him stronger, would make him a better king. But when he said the words, the voice wasn’t his. It was Loghain’s. And Maric didn’t know whether to believe them or not.
He didn’t even know what would become of tomorrow. Getting through the night seemed like an endless struggle and now he had no one to make it easier. In the dark room the shadows morphed into a sickening layer of blood that covered everything, and the raging storm was an almost identical reflection of Maric’s soul.
“You will become what you hate in order to save what you love.”Being King had never been the most important thing to Maric, not important enough to sacrifice the rebel army, to destroy relationships with his closest friends, to waste happiness for. But all of that he had done.
He could fight it. He could shout, scream, refuse, and it would make no difference. The throne was going to be his no matter what, once the rebels would get it back. And it would be a lonely path without the love of a queen.
When Rowan walked into the room, Maric didn’t pay attention. He spoke, he had a conversation, but he didn’t understand she was really there. When he finally did, he realized she was still in the role of the future Queen. Just not his Queen anymore, only Ferelden’s. Her heart wasn’t with her.
Maric knew. When he embraced her, kissed her, stroked her brown hair, he knew she loved his best friend more. She was behind a wall Maric could never bring down again but despite it they merged in the darkness.
It was despair for both of them yet neither let it show. So much had been destroyed and lost that Maric wanted to cry “no more.” To become the King willingly and so make things right would be even harder than it sounded but it was the way it had to be. He knew that too. And with another hollow kiss, he accepted.
The weight of the crown had never been more crushing.
~ She was the night, night of retribution
A persona not right, blood of pollution
He was the day, day of solution
Shaped like clay, he was led astray
I would die for you if you cared for me
Tomorrow there’s another crimson dawn
I’ll watch it alone, upon the lost throne
Crowned in despair
I would bleed for you if you stayed with me
Tomorrow there’s another endless night
I’ll walk it alone, along the lost road
Crowned in despair
Couldn’t see through her lies, every inch of me dies
Haunted by her face, my memory can´t be replaced
My heart's torn asunder, and maybe life's going under
But I know this will only make me stronger
I would die for you if you cared for me
Tomorrow there’s another crimson dawn
I’ll watch it alone, upon the lost throne
Crowned in despair
I would bleed for you if you stayed with me
Tomorrow there’s another endless night
I’ll walk it alone, along the lost road
Crowned in despair ~
