Kirjoitti: Weruca
Betasi: Trin
Ikäraja: S
Fandom: Angel
Yukimura lisäsi fandomin myös alkutietoihin.Paritus: Lilah Morgan/Wesley Wyndam-Price
A/N: Neloskauden alkuun sijoittuvaa tunnelmointia ja Lilahin profilointia.
STRENGTH
Noun. The state, property, or quality of being strong
Strength was something that Lilah Morgan had always valued. Even in her younger years she had admired those with strength and after her introduction to the multi-dimensional business world she had learned to pity those without it. Lilah sat up and fixed her eyes to the man lying naked in the bed. In his bed. Panting and steadying his breath, reeking of sex and sweat. Even though this was how Lilah liked him best, she had to admit that if judged just by his physical attributes, Wesley Wyndam-Price was outshined by most.
He didn't have that brute, massive body that Angel and Gunn had. He didn't have Lindsey's almost feminine, beautiful, lips or the money and power that some of her business associates had. Honestly, she had never believed that it would be Wesley she'd end up fucking. Somehow she’d always imagined that if someone from the Angel Investigations would end up in her bed, it would be Angel. But Wesley proved her wrong by showing his true colours. He possessed something that intoxicated Lilah.
Strength.
Oh, God he had strength. True strength, the kind that Angel had only possessed in his soulless years. Wesley had the strength to do whatever it took to get the job done. Regardless of the fact that his job was to bring down Lilah's side, she couldn't disparage the fact. Wesley had betrayed his friends for greater good and even now when everyone he loved had abandoned him, he took the steps and measures needed in order to salvage things.
Lilah knew about the little pet he had been keeping in his closet. She knew about his search for Angel, even though she didn't know how well he was doing. And she knew just how vicious and cruel Wesley could be in order to protect what he believed to be good. He was rough and ruthless, worthy of her attention.
”Leave,” succinct comment escaped Wesley’s dry throat. She couldn't stop her eyes from searching out the thin scar on his skin. He had recovered well from his injury, but still there was this new, hoarse nuance in his voice. Something that sent chills down her spine.
But the woman showed no signs of obedience, instead she just glanced at her watch.
“It's only half past,” Lilah noted. “And my twelve o'clock isn't until…” She paused. “Well, twelve.” She finished with a tiny hint of amusement in her voice.
“I don't see how that changes anything,” he paused. “Leave.” His tone was lazy, not truly demanding. Lilah raised her eyebrows and leaned down to face him.
“Why? Are you expecting a visit from a friend?” She inquired with a voice that was a bit too innocent. She could see it in his eyes, Wesley knew what was coming. “Ups, I forgot that you don't have those any more.” She whispered and her gaze never left his eyes. He knew what she was going to say and still he couldn't suffocate all of his feelings.
He didn't answer, but rolled them over in the bed. Lilah felt him gripping her arms just a bit too forcefully as he tried to distract her from reading his emotions, from noticing his pain. She didn't know if this was because she was an enemy or simply because he thought that she wasn't capable of feelings. Which wasn't true.
Emotions were just something Lilah had denied herself. In her world, where strength was all that was needed, emotions became a burden. Wolfram & Hart was a place were only the strong and cunning survived. When she had been young and she had made her choice to join the company, she had been longing to be strong. To get wealth and power, to offer her mother the best care money could buy and to visit her old home town in the latest designer shoes. She had been ready to make sacrifices; she had risked everything she had to make it to the top. Because she knew what it was when you truly had nothing, when you were a nobody. And Lilah would never go back to that.
So she had extricated herself from her emotions and became strong. She hadn't chosen evil when she had chosen Wolfram & Hart. She had chosen power, she had chosen independence. And she couldn't undo any of it, even though she sometimes wanted to. Lilah wasn't stupid enough to pull off something like Lindsey had done, running away wasn't an option. And it wasn't like she wanted to. She adored her diamonds, her limousines and her champagne.
Being strong meant being alone. Lilah stared into Wesley's eyes. He knew this; he knew what it meant to be strong. He knew what it was like to be alone. Lilah understood how he felt and he knew it. Even if he was in love with that little chit from Texas, he knew that she would never understand him the way Lilah did. That was what their connection was all about. That was why they sometimes shared almost accidental, gentle caresses and they lied just a little bit too long next to each other before Lilah left.
But what Wesley didn't know was that these ephemeral, caring moments were something that Lilah had believed had no place in her life. Laying there with her enemy in silence, it was the closest she'd ever get to love.
